Far from my sight, out of my heart

I learned a new French expression. Loin de mes yeux, loin de mon cœur. It means, far from my sight, out of my heart. I thought, given my situation, it was very interesting. It was used to express how we need to keep up with those we love, otherwise we will lose them in time. If we don't work at our relationships, distance and absence will cause them to fade.

Since I heard it, I've been applying this in all sorts of ways. Good and sad. I can't see my family or close friends regularly, so I need to keep in contact with them in other ways so that I will not lose being close in their hearts or they in mine.

On the flip side, if I hang in there, sugar and sweets will finally leave my heart and I will not long for them anymore, if I can just keep them out of my sight long enough. Maybe alcohol too.

It reminded me of something someone said when we first talked about moving to France. I knew I would miss everything and everyone around me and I was told that in time I wouldn't need them anymore and they wouldn't need me. In time, we would continue to live new lives and the dependency we had on each other would wane. They would forget me and I would forget them. Life would naturally move forward. And eventually there would be no place for me with them, nothing to miss.

The idea was reassuring in one small way because I knew I wouldn't feel lost and lonely forever but a lingering sadness took its place. I don't want them out of my heart.

Can things and people you love be out of your heart with just less time in your sight? Well, I don't think about iced coffee or chocolate smoothies like I once did. And cheese-less pizza strips or thanksgiving sandwiches (with the cranberry sauce and stuffing). But what about people and land? I live by the Sea here and it is beautiful yet I miss the RI beaches. I miss the trees of my home and the places I know. And the people? Forget it. They are far from my sight but not out of my heart, not yet. I want to hold each face close to the eyes of my soul, study each one to remember and then tuck them safely away in my memory until I see them in the flesh again.

So this expression is a warning to me. To not let the distance of my physical sight to cause me to forget those I love and miss. I will see them again soon. And until then I will carry them close, very close to my heart and see them clearly in my mind's eye.

Back outside for a walk

The weather here in Roquebrune was thawed and the sun is beckoning. So with my nifty orthopedic inserts tucked into my sneakers, my Ipod on and Anna along, I head out to walk the Cap.

Its been weeks since I took this walk, down the 1 million steps to the cliff edge of France and then around and up and over and through the rocks that embrace the sea.

I was sweating within minutes, naturally. Anna wanted to stop at every tree, fence, flower and spot of dirt. We had to weave through the Italians grouped around each corner, wearing coats and hats and scarves..and heels, discussing the scenery and where to have dinner. The men mixing concrete and patching holes left from the winter erosion. The smell of flowers hung in the cool afternoon air and the waves splashed merrily against the cliffs. I wanted to jump in and swim.

It felt like spring, although Dennis assured me that true spring is several weeks away. My blood was singing and my feet were spry, so much so that I ran ...yes, ran up every staircase we encountered (and there are many).

But by the time the 45 minute walk was over and we had reached the street, I was very tempted to call for a ride home. After resting on a bench and bathing a little longer in the setting sun over Monaco, Anna and I began the climb uphill toward home. It was an uphill climb all the way, ending in 4 flights of stairs to our apt. It nearly killed me in my present bread and cheese drowned body (see the previous blog entry) but I am still alive and ready to do it all again.

Cheese and Bread, my friend and my foe

When we first decided to live in France, I knew that staying away from the cheese and bread would be hard. I knew that control would be difficult and that I had an immense struggle on my hands.

So I didn't struggle, stay away or control myself. I ate every piece of bread and sampled every chunk of cheese that was placed in my path. I even sought the cheese and bread out when it wasn't readily available. For example, while in Italy at an open market, I waited in line to sample the Parmesan, even though I had no intention of buying. I sampled several tables, in fact. Every table, to be honest.

I tried to rationalize, another sign of my addiction. "I will walk to the bakery and get the bread and walk back" as if that was enough exercise to justify the consumption of   the    entire    loaf!

Do you know how delightful a slice of goat cheese spread on a piece of warm sesame seed baguette is? What about adding an inch of butter between the cheese and the bread? How about topping it off with fig preserves?  Well, let me just say, I'm drooling as I type.

Well, the gluttony has caught up with me and I sit before you, a woman condemned. My jeans are tight, my coat won't button and a woman I know recently remarked on how much weight I've gained since moving to France.

So now, because of my lack of self-control, I am cut off completely from the cheese and bread. I sit at the dinner table, while the rest family enjoys the warm bread and plate of cheese..and I drink my water. Like a prisoner in my own home, I prepare the bread and cheese, watch others eat it and then clean up after them. Will I start fantasizing about what I can no longer have? No doubt. Maybe I will be able to enjoy the cheese in my dreams.  It is my own fault. I said yes yes yes and now its a world of no. 

Everything takes longer in France

I have flat feet. Not a very interesting topic. Because of my flat feet, I wear custom made orthopedic inserts in my sneakers and boots. It helps. On a recent journey to RI to visit my family, I forgot my inserts in a pair of boots that I decided at the very last minute not to pack for my return trip to France (since my suitcase was long past the sitting-on-it-to-close-it stage) I also purchase a pair of shoes while in RI but thy didn't arrive before I had to leave.

Being that I am in overseas for long periods of time, my parents kindly mailed these two items to me, here in France.

THREE WEEKS LATER

I receive a letter from the post office in Paris. They want a written statement disclosing the contents of the package and the cost of the items inside.

So we comply, explaining that the orthopedic inserts are used and 4 years old, the shoes where purchased in the US, costing about 30 euros.

We receive a phone call three days later.  "Oh no no, that is not possible. Orthopedic shoes cost much more than that. We need a receipt proving the cost of the shoes before we can release the package to you."

We are talking about SHOES and used, cracked and most likely smelly orthopedic inserts to boost my fallen arches. Not weapons, drugs, merchandise or body parts that we plan to resell, or even seditious printed material.

SHOES!

And the French postal service is holding them hostage. I recommended that they simple open the box and see for themselves.

We submit further information regarding the contents of the package and I receive an email explaining that they are releasing the package but I may be responsible for import taxes upon its delivery.

On a side note, I called the US embassy here in Nice on a question in regards to my passport and was informed by recorded message that the Embassy is closed until January 31 and that I should call back then. What if it was a matter of life and death? I guess it would have to wait until January 31.

Here in France, even the US Embassy works on French time. Nothing moves efficiently, nothing is easy, nothing gets done without ten steps or 14 pages of paperwork, at the very least. In view of the Subaru Saga my sister and her husband are tangled up in, I'm starting to think that Subaru is perhaps really a French company.

Subaru of America passes their verdict

The engine tear down has been completed.  According to Subaru, the engine failure was caused by an issue with the valves and damage to the cylinders. The fault was not due to "a lack of lubrication" although this is what the Wilsons were told at the start. And as far as proper maintenance, the findings of the tear down was that the engine was clean without sign of build up or gunk, meaning that proper service was done (even though it was not serviced at Subaru).

The result? Subaru of America has agreed to pay 75% of the cost to replace the engine. The Wilsons will be responsible for the remainder, which could be a bill of $1,200. The loaner car was no longer available, having exceeded the 5 days that Anchor had agreed to allow the Wilson family to use it.

The repair to the engine could take a week or more.

So that is the final decision of Subaru of America in the saga of the Wilson's Forester.

Thank you all for your comments and you support. Please feel free to let us know what you think about this final development.

UPDATE FROM W. MOORE:

As it turned out, a valve guide failed in one of the cylinders, which caused the valve to fail. It put excessive loads on bearings and damaged the cylinder and head of the engine. As mentioned, the engine was very clean inside, so it had nothing to do with lack of engine maintenance on the Wilson's part. This was mentioned by Anchor Subaru.

That helped in Subaru America's decision to pay for part of the cost to repair the damage. Mr. Benoit negotiated with Subaru America, in the Wilson's behalf, and got it so that Subaru paid 75 % of the cost of repair, which is about $3,500 total. In the deal they are replacing timing belts and some other components while the engine is apart. The Wilson's part in all that is about $900 with additional monies going toward the replacement of non-damaged parts just mentioned, bringing the total, with tax, to around $1200.

Considering that the engine was 5000 miles over warranty, they could have insisted on not doing anything, and while that would have been very undesirable, none the less, they could have taken that stance.

Yes, the engine should not have blown at 65,000. Obviously there was a defect in one of the engine parts, and it took that mileage to manifest itself. In a beautiful, loving, self sacrificing world, Subaru might have given a free loner car for the entire duration of the ordeal, (Which would have spoken volumes for, and put a feather in, Mr. Benoit's hat- I wish he had done that) and Subaru America might have made everything go away for free,(don't hold your breath) but that does not happen very much in the world we currently live in.

And it would also had been better, had Subaru really stepped up to the plate and pay 75% of their cost for the part( manufacturing cost), and their cost for labor (Anchor Subaru's cost), but they did not. Instead they are charging full retail price. Welcome to the real world. Still, all and all, I think the Terrence and Jennifer should be thankful for this outcome, and move on. And I thank Mr. Benoit for his part in it and wish him well.

Anchor Subaru "found the problem"...now what?

In reading comments left on the blog this morning, I noticed an entry from W. Moore in regards to the engine tear down findings done by Anchor Subaru on the Wilson's Forester:

"I heard from Terrence tonight. 01/31/12. Anchor Subaru found the problem . Something failed to cause valve stem and cylinder damage. They commented that it was not an oil lubrication problem, but some sort of failure. They also commented that the engine was very clean inside, no gunk or varnish, implying proper service by the Wilson's. Anchor Subaru will call Subaru America in the morning, as it was 6pm at tear down finish. Stay tuned........"


Now we wait to hear what Subaru of America is willing to do about the stranded Wilson family.

Your comments matter! The Subaru Saga Continues

Recently this blog has been getting some unprecedented attention as many of you have had something to say about the situation that the Wilson family was facing because of Anchor Subaru. Several of your comments have been lost along the way and I have received emails about people being unable to post their thoughts. I am very sorry for this. Please be patient while I look into the problem.

Please try posting to a different page, perhaps this one or Subaru Update. Please do not be discouraged but keep your comments and support coming. This isn't over yet.