I'm waiting for dinner to be done and the bottle of Lady in Red to be well oxygenated before I dig in.
Somehow though, despite the day off and all the relaxing I've been doing, I find myself wallowing to a certain depth of self pity. You see, my husband leaves Friday for France. F R A N C E...for five weeks. And I, I have to stay here, in Florida, working at the job I do not like. At all. And I'm not happy about that. At all. So what am I to do? Wallow. And eat. Thats all I've come up with so far.
Its ruined for me, being alone. I once loved it, relished in it even. The silence, the freedom of it all. No one to share my wine with, my food with, no one to explain myself to or wait for. If I wanted to watch a show again, no one complained. If I wanted to watch Out of Africa every night no one complained. (Actually, in all honesty my roommate complained about that one. She once stood at the doorway to my room pleading with me to get out of Africa) But when I was all alone...no one cared what I did. I could wear socks to bed, I could leave the bathroom door open. And incense...I could burn a ton of incense and set off the smoke alarms if I wanted to.
So I'm gonna be alone for five weeks. Blissfully alone. So what's my problem.
Turns out that being alone isn't as great as I remember it. I can already sense myself falling apart at the seams. Dennis keeps me from being consumed with self interest. He keeps me human. And he gives me something to look forward to every single morning and every single night. So I dread these next few weeks without him. While he is drinking in the French coastline and eating the best cheese and tasting the best wine..I'm going to be wallowing here in our condo, with the bathroom door open and Out of Africa on the TV..Alone..waiting for time to pass until we are together again and my life makes sense again. Because, as a wise man once said, when you've met the person you want to spend the rest of you life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Have five weeks past yet??
