Why can't I be more like my dog Anna? She is satisfied with one meal a day and it is always exactly the same. No complaints, no refusal to eat (except when she is on a hunger strike, which is rare) She only drinks water so we never have to make a run to Italy for her when the vodka runs low. All she ever wants to do is exercise, seriously...it is the biggest treat for her. Walking or running makes her happy. She can jump at least 4 feet effortlessly. And I never see her sweat.
Anna is always agreeable to anything. No decision makes her upset, she packs light, never gets cold or hot, requires no special attention or plan. She is spontaneous and always in a good mood. She is very clean, willing to lick your hands, the dinning room floor or any other spot you require. Anna has no problems relaxing, often sprawling in the center of the hallway or any other place you need to walk through, particularly if you are carrying something heavy and//or hot. She has an uncanny way of knowing in advance where would be the most inconvenient place for her to lay and she promptly lays there.
She has no addictive habits like caffeine and never complains that her feet hurt, head hurts, stomach hurts or that she is tired. In fact, she never complains, no matter what. If we leave her home she doesn't throw a fit. If we wake her up early she never grumbles. Even if we were to stay up all night, with the TV on, she would only sit near enough to be pet, leaning against you.
Anna happily chews on her toys, never gum or candy. She never uses all the hot water and dirties several towels. In fact she produces no laundry what so ever. No personal body products are ever consumed by Anna. She never complains about her pillow or mattress, she happily sleeps on the floor! You never have to change her sheets or buy her new furniture and she never whines about the chairs being uncomfortable.
My mother-in-law Denise spends hours each day talking to Anna about everything and nothing. Denise calls Anna "Little One". Hearing Denise chatting away reminds me of something else extremely valuable about Anna. She keeps secrets. I mean, really keeps them. Although there are times her eyes seem to speak volumes, she never divulges even the raciest, juiciest of tales. She is a vault, locked down!
Anna is never a backseat driver. Nothing fazes her. You can miss the turn, stop short, even forget where you are going and she acts as if she doesn't even notice.
Hopefully no one else in the family will ever catch on to how much more valuable Anna is than me, otherwise I may get left out on the balcony.
Anna is always agreeable to anything. No decision makes her upset, she packs light, never gets cold or hot, requires no special attention or plan. She is spontaneous and always in a good mood. She is very clean, willing to lick your hands, the dinning room floor or any other spot you require. Anna has no problems relaxing, often sprawling in the center of the hallway or any other place you need to walk through, particularly if you are carrying something heavy and//or hot. She has an uncanny way of knowing in advance where would be the most inconvenient place for her to lay and she promptly lays there.
She has no addictive habits like caffeine and never complains that her feet hurt, head hurts, stomach hurts or that she is tired. In fact, she never complains, no matter what. If we leave her home she doesn't throw a fit. If we wake her up early she never grumbles. Even if we were to stay up all night, with the TV on, she would only sit near enough to be pet, leaning against you.
Anna happily chews on her toys, never gum or candy. She never uses all the hot water and dirties several towels. In fact she produces no laundry what so ever. No personal body products are ever consumed by Anna. She never complains about her pillow or mattress, she happily sleeps on the floor! You never have to change her sheets or buy her new furniture and she never whines about the chairs being uncomfortable.
My mother-in-law Denise spends hours each day talking to Anna about everything and nothing. Denise calls Anna "Little One". Hearing Denise chatting away reminds me of something else extremely valuable about Anna. She keeps secrets. I mean, really keeps them. Although there are times her eyes seem to speak volumes, she never divulges even the raciest, juiciest of tales. She is a vault, locked down!
Anna is never a backseat driver. Nothing fazes her. You can miss the turn, stop short, even forget where you are going and she acts as if she doesn't even notice.
Hopefully no one else in the family will ever catch on to how much more valuable Anna is than me, otherwise I may get left out on the balcony.
