No Opstakels

I have been listening to my French lessons on my Ipod.  It is funny for many reasons but to name just a few.....

A) It strikes me as hilarious that my "Instructor" seems to get impatient with the students on the recording and I feel happy to be invisible. As they halt and stumble I feel impatient myself..as if I'm not as bad as them...when actually I'm getting nowhere fast.  I feel like the instructor wants to shout, "No, you idiot!!!" and that makes me crazy-chipmunk-laugh, as if I'm any better.  At least the voice in my head is doing pretty good.

B) As I listen it seems easy to remember....but sadly I am lost at each complete sentence and this makes me laugh. I'm a block head...I'm never going to learn anything.

C) I think the voice in my head is getting more and more French. Meaning that my inner voice has serious BO and refuses to bathe more than once a week, it has begun to smoke and eats only the freshest cheese. I can't reason with my inner voice, I have lost all control!

I have only been listening to this "class" for an hour or two today while I cooked lunch and dinner (no elevenses here) and yet, shock of shockers, tonight when my husband told my mother-in-law that tomorrow he and I are going into Menton to watch the firework competition, she said "not for me" in French and ....gasp...I understood her.  Three little words...but she wasn't speaking slowly to me directly, and I totally got what she said, without even thinking.  Tres excellent!!  I was so proud of myself I was driven to write a second blog in one day.  Forgive me for overwhelming my audience.

This reminds me of a list I have started to compose of funny pronunciations of English words by our French friends.  Having endured mockery for my accent for my entire life and no doubt about to face even more ridicule as I stumble through French...I take this moment to poke good natured fun at these botched words.  I will attempt to write them as I heard them....

First there was OBSTACLES which sounded like  OPSTACKELS

Also we heard PURPOSE came out more like PORPOOSE

The Bible book of Exodus was called XUDIS
The nation of ISREAL is actually IZRAEEL 

and my all time favorite was STIFLE which when used in one sentence came out like this>

"Husbands, do not STIFFEL your wife. When your wife is STIFFELED, she will become unhappy"

I love love love this country!! I don't feel stiffeled one bit!

Rainy Days in France

Two days of rain in July.  From what I have been told, this is very unusual.  It is a cold steady rain, wetting down everything.  We have to keep the windows mostly closed because it comes down at a slant determined to soak your floor and your socks.  The clouds are heavy over the mountains outside my window, both towards Italy and towards Monaco.  Dark blanketing clouds.  The beaches are empty today, and the cafes are crowded with vacationing families looking up at the sky while they drink coffee and talk about when the sun will come out again.

Dennis and I walked this morning before it really started to pour.  We went a different route, through back stairways toward the local hardware store.  It was a place locked away from time.  By at least 50 years.  Nothing has changed inside, no sign of technology.  Without computers or even an electric register, everything is written down in a ledger and the owner makes all calculations in his head.  We went looking for Boric Acid to help keep the nightly visitors to our kitchen and bathroom at bay.  However, we quickly learned that Acid Boric (as it is said here) is FORBIDDEN!  Instead we were shown sticky traps and fly paper along with some more familiar plastic poison traps.  For only two little bug poison hotels we shelled out 5 Euro, ($7).  NOT VERY REASSURING.  But I will not be deterred.  This battle will be won.  We plan on patching up every access point in the house, from pipe holes in the walls to ventilation ports.  This isn't over Monsieur cockroach!

I know I am being TERRIBLY American about this, since we only see maybe three a night.  I just have to fight them.  I cannot accept it.  It feels too wrong.

Once we left the french "Home Depot" with our weapons and the parting advice that our insect invaders are "very very difficult" to get rid of...the rain had stepped up ten fold.  We dashed down to the deserted waterfront.  Even in the pouring rain, everywhere you look it is surreal.  From a movie or a painting.  We found several apartments for rent along the way, one overlooking the beach and within our price range. Very exciting!  Up and Up the secret stairs we climbed back to our street (Ave General-Leclerc) to make fresh salmon and green beans for lunch.

Here, France in the rain is quieter.  The splash of the traffic below our apartment moves slowly.  There are no voices drifting up through my open window, just cool air and raindrops.  No seagulls or pigeons calling to each other.  Everyone has found shelter to wait for the rain to end.